Tales of a Working Mother: May 2011

Clearly, there's been a lot going on.

Firstly, I didn't blog about this yet, because I was afraid to say too much... But we found a house in the beginning of April (well, as you read prior, we found many houses...) this one was not what we were wishing for or what we really wanted... instead it is what we need. It has 3 bedrooms, a back yard, a deck, and a finished basement. So, we put an offer in. They countered, and we accepted. We signed the first P & S in early April. We had a home inspection performed, and due to the need for some repairs, we talked them down a few grand, and signed the final P & S in late April.
We went through a great deal of paperwork sending with our mortgage broker and due to a delay in some of that paperwork, our closing was postponed from yesterday to next Wednesday or Thursday.
We have been packing for what seems like months and now we're trying our best to not have to unpack too much due to the week delay.
We're excited - but this is certainly a "fixer-upper" so there's a lot of work that will go into it.

That's the house update...

The job update is that I'm finally just an Assistant Director and not an RD anymore. My last few days were SOO busy and stressful. I had a complete breakdown on Ryan last week after a few stress filled days. I had tried to please too many and in the end, wound up missing a few steps and felt terrible about it. Lately, with all the changes going on, the added responsibilities, the money worries, etc, I've felt like I just can't be a good mother, wife, friend, daughter, and employee all at the same time. Its been a bit overwhelming and it all came to a head the other night.
Luckily, I have an amazing husband who listened, encouraged, and helped me wrap my head around things enough to see the silver lining in all of the challenges.
I woke up the next day ready to face my desk and all of the work that I left sitting there. I also had a meeting with my boss that day and she was extremely encouraging and supportive. so... I'm back to feeling good about things and ready to take each challenge head on as is my style!

As far as the half marathon... I did it... and I beat my time!!

I'll detail as best I can how it went...

We drove up on Friday night. It's a three hour drive from here to my parents' friend's house on Lake Winnepesaukee so we left at 4 and stopped for some greasy dinner at McDonald's and got there at 7:30. I am not ashamed to admit at all that I love McDonald's!! The only time we ever go there is when we're on road trips, so I was actually looking forward to it!! I didn't even consider, until the quarter pounded was almost devoured, that eating that might be a very poor life choice the night before a half marathon.... Oh well, live and learn, I figured!!

My two besties from work, Erin and Erin were doing the half with me. Erin and her Hubby Mike, (whom Ryan gets along great with - but really, he gets along with almost everyone) got there about three minutes after us. Erin had gone to the race site and picked up our race packets for us and then they went for dinner and met us at the house. Erin K had dinner plans with friends in Laconia, so she arrived about an hour after we did.
The house we stayed at is my parent's close friends' cottage. It's a three bedroom, two bathroom, gorgeous house on the lake. We couldn't have been happier.
We all went to bed around 10:30-11pm and of course, I barely slept all night. When I awoke for the sixth time and saw that the clock read 4:52am, I gave up on attempting any last zzzzs and got up. We had some very tight race jerseys to wear- so I outfitted myself, got my protein shake ready, my banana and gatorade packed... then I pinned my bib on, threw my gu packs in my pocket and was sick to my stomach a few times (hey, it happens, I deal with my nerves my own way!!)
Erin and Erin were up at 5 also and we headed out at 5:30am.
It took us an hour to get to the race site. Once we got there, we found the Make-A-Wish tent and I can't even tell you how wonderful those volunteers were.

As a fundraiser (Wish Racer) you are given private port-a-potties, which, I might tell you, was totally worth the fund-raising. Although we did have to wait in a small line, it was nothing compared to the other port-a-potties.

The absolute best part of this whole experience is that my parents decided to make a weekend of it, and took their motor-home to NH to come and watch me race. Its one thing to be proud of yourself and do something for you... it's another to have your parents see you do it and feel the pride too! And they did. And that wiped me a way!

Back to the race.

After meeting a recipient of Make-a-Wish, Meaghan (who was about 13 years old and I didn't ask what life-threatening illness she had, but she was amazing) we got in line to start the race. At 8:04 the race began. We started off at a very slow pace, but Erin, Erin and I all ran together for about a mile or so. (the finish line was about 1.75 miles away from the start). Erin C and I continued at her pace without Erin K because she was injured and planned to walk the majority of it.

It was chilly when we first got there, so I kept my running jacket on but after that mile, I knew I didn't want it for the rest of the race. Luckily, my parents were already waiting at the finish line - so we prepped (Erin C and I) to throw them our jackets when we went by them...
As we approached that area, I spotted mom and dad immediately and noticed that my mom was holding a sign. How amazing is that. I've run so many races and seen family members hold signs encouraging their runners and here they were, holding a sign that boasted about me!! Immediately I got emotional!!! We threw our jackets at them and continued running!! I could tell both Mom and Dad were overcome with the adrenaline that occurs when spectating a race like this and I was so excited to have them witness this!

At that point, Erin and I decided that we couldn't run together for much longer. Erin's pace is a bit slower than mine, so I sped up a bit and she continued on at her pace.
The first three miles were awesome. Just completely straight and the weather was gorgeous.

At about mile 5 I remember thinking, I'm already one third done and I feel great!! I always carry a mini gatorade with me so I was holding that and I had my phone on my arm but wasn't listening to music - but didn't mind. There were a few people cheering on their runners along the course and I just really enjoyed the scenery.

At mile 7 there was a pretty big hill and I thought, "ok, this is where the pain begins". And it did. Not terrible pain, but a small side-stitch. I prayed to God to just keep it manageable and not make me slow down. As always, my prayer was answered. I was able to manage it with my breathing and I did slow a bit, but not for long. I have found that if I consentrate on my breathing and slow my pace a little for about five minutes or so (at least a half mile) then the cramp usually subsides. And it did. Thank you God.
After mile 7, from about 8-10.5 there was small hills but they were over with so quickly, that I couldn't get upset about them!!
I ate one of my Gu's (which is an electrolyte gel) at about 7.5 miles. I didn't really need it, but I thought, "I'm half way, so I might as well take one to keep my energy up". I talked to a few people running along the way - mostly because out of over 1000 people running, only 55 of us raised money and had the jersey on. So a lot of people asked me "how much did you raise?" when they saw me coming.

My pace was awesome for me... I didn't keep my app going on my phone but I knew that my pace was at about 10 minute miles from just the way I was feeling throughout the race. At 10.5 miles, I realized that I still had another Gu left and I was still feeling incredible. With only 2.6 miles left, I thought, "what the heck, I'll eat this one now." So I did. And then there was a pretty big hill, but it was over a gorgeous waterfall alongside a beautiful mountain, so I couldn't even grumble about it!!

Then at about 11.25 miles I started praying. I remember praying, "Thank you God for giving me the ability to do this. Thank you for the support of my family. Thank you for the health of my parents and for them being here. Thank you God for blessing me so richly." And then I got pretty emotional just thanking the Lord for all I have.

A few times throughout the race, I pictured my parents waiting for me at the finish and I would tear up... At about 12 miles, I pictured them again and I really started crying... I was actually sobbing a little - and think about when you're sobbing, you tend to gasp for air. Well, that doesn't exactly work when you're in a breathing rhythm and your heartrate is elevated. So, something happened after 12 miles. I could not get a hold of my breathing and got light headed. Then I really got dizzy and was fairly certain I would pass out. When I say fairly certain, I mean at the point where I knew I was about a half mile from the finish (because I could hear all the cow bells and the dj) I looked around me to see who I could tell that I needed help. At that point, I saw the bright stars that I usually see right before I am about to pass out and it scared the shit out of me. I move over to the left of the road and stopped. I gasped a few times just begging to catch my breath enough to finish.
I was SO CLOSE to finishing and SO frustrated that I couldn't just run and feel as awesome as I had the whole race. My heart was pounding and you know that feeling when your heart skips a beat and you feel that weird flutter of it catching up to itself? That's what was happening - over and over. It didn't normalize. But I was SO CLOSE. So I decided to jog a little and begged my body to cooperate. I begged God, please don't let me make a scene out of this, please just let me finish before I pass out.
I ran a very slow jog for the last stretch. I saw the clock about .25 from the finish and it read 2:11:45. I still had the stars around the outside of my vision, and I was forcing air in through my nose and out through my mouth and I could feel my heart beat in my ears like base drums.
Suddenly, I heard, "And coming in to the finishing stretch from Bridgewater, Massachusetts is Amanda Surgens" from the dj. I smiled at the hundreds of people clapping and cheering even though my eyes were frantically searching for my family. Just before the actual finish line, on my right I could see them and I heard them. My Mom's voice sounded just like it did on the field hockey field in high school, "GO AMANDA!!!" I looked at them and tried my hardest to smile and look incredible as I knew my dad and Ryan were taking pictures. I always raise my arms above my head at the end of a race in victory. I tried to raise them... and they barely went above my waist... I just couldn't.

But I passed the finish... I made it...

I walked around the back to meet them on the side. My mom saw me and walked to me. I love that she didn't care how gross and sweaty I was and she hugged me. She was holding another sign, this one different, but still boasting for me! She had tears in her eyes and told me that my time was 2:14. She saw that I was not ok and asked what was going on. "I can't catch my breath" I told her. "take a bunch of really deep breaths and sit down." So I did. and it actually worked. My heart kept racing for about 25 minutes, but I was already feeling so much better than I had been.

After sitting for a few, I realized that I hadn't hugged my dad yet. He was still standing over near the finish. (I had hugged Ryan and Maddie who had come right up to me when I sat down)... i walked over to my Dad and realized he was completely filled with emotion. The amount of pride I felt at that moment is indescribable. He too had tears in his eyes and he was beaming. I loved it! I loved having my parents there. Absolutely loved it.

Erin C finished about a half hour after I did and Erin K after that. Mom and Dad left to have lunch and they were going to meet us back at the lakehouse in the afternoon and we'd have dinner together that night.

The after-race party was great and they even offered free beer!! Unlike Erin C, I can't eat much after a race. she, on the other hand could eat a large pizza and a full Sundae!! So, we grabbed some food, beer and sat by the lake for a while.

Overall, I had an amazing race. I felt phenomenal throughout the majority of it - way better than I did throughout my last half! I can't wait to do the half in October and will be so excited to run it with my sister.

I will leave you with a few pictures....