When it Rains it pours... for some...

And it almost always does for my sister...

She's going through with her divorce which is not easy when her husband doesn't want it. I don't know why or what he is holding on to, all they do is argue, why would you want to fight for that....?

But it's as if that were not enough... Now, out of the blue, she is stuck in a hospital bed in excruciating pain with gallstones up the wazooo and pancreatitus. Geeze... And to make matters worse, I'm stuck at work for the next few days. Normally, I don't work on weekends or I can easily take a day off; however, it's impossible to take work off during opening and training weeks. Which, naturally, this is training/opening week.

I did somehow get them to let me out on Friday; so I did get to see her.

And I'm leaving early tomorrow to see her too; however, it's VERY noticeable when I'm not here this week and I'm not being treated very nicely because of it... Don't get me wrong, I love love love my job and the people I work with... but it just doesn't look fair when I am not around and others have to cover my stuff. They don't mean to make me feel badly about it, but it happens.

Anyways, if you happen upon this blog, please say a prayer for my sister... she could really use the prayers!
thank you.

A Christmas To Remember

I did a little better this year at taking pictures, but not much!!

our whole Christmas-New Year's was fantastic!!

In Pictures, here's my best shot at capturing:

Merry Christmas

This is such a fun year for us. Maddie is just "getting" the Santa concept, but more importantly she's getting the "happy birthday Jesus" idea. I really wanted to make sure that we teach her the real reason for Christmas. It's hard though, with everyone who talks to her asking if Santa is going to come and bring her presents. Firstly, she's a pretty smart child (if I do say so) so really, when you ask her that, it freaks her out. Why would some stranger bring her gifts? She says no, by the way, when you ask her if Santa is going to bring her presents, then she follows it with, "Mommy and Daddy"... We still haven't decided whether she means that Santa will bring presents to Mommy and Daddy or whether Mommy and Daddy are going to bring her the presents...
Either way, it affirms that Santa kind of goes against what we try to teach our kids. "Don't talk to strangers" "Don't take candy from a stranger" "Don't let strange people touch you"... but wait, at Christmas, "Go up to Santa (a stranger), sit on his lap, take the candy he offers, and tell him what you want for Christmas..." Really? No wonder she's a little freaked out!

It was my father in law's birthday the other day and my mother in law asked Maddie who's birthday was next (completely expecting Maddie to say "mine" since hers in Jan.10) but Maddie proudly said, "Jesus's birthday is next!" YES!! It is!! lets not forget that!!! That she said that makes me think we're doing something right!!

Merry CHRISTmas!

Old Sermon

So, two years ago, I was very involved with our church that was going through a lot of turmoil and change. I was asked almost once a month to guest preach. I loved it!! I know right, public speaking and not being a minister but talking about the Gospel...

I miss it. A lot.

We go to a Methodist church in Bridgewater now, (well, by "we go" I mean, we've been there four or five times and like the service enough to keep going back).
But, I don't feel connected, yet. I would love to guest preach again, I feel like I could say a lot to the people that are there and I gain so much from sharing myself in that way.

So, I found a sermon that I wrote two years ago just before Christmas and I was thinking of a few of my friends who are pregnant now like I was then. Advent is a time of preparation for the church; preparation for the coming of the Christ Child and I was in a period of advent for my baby when I wrote this sermon... I do miss that time, being pregnant, being excited about my baby... giving sermons...

Here's that sermon if you're interested...


Good Morning. 2 More Days… Are you ready?

When I ask that question, are you ready? What do you think about before you answer? Do you think about the presents you have left to buy, wrap, send somewhere? Or the fact that you have company coming to your house and you haven’t vacuumed yet? The cooking you’ll need to do, the grocery shopping still to be done?

Well, that’s not what I’m asking. Its 2 days away from Christmas, are you ready for Christmas? Are you ready to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, that is, after all what Christmas is all about. It’s Christ’s birthday people! The whole point of giving presents and getting together is a huge birthday party.

When it’s someone’s birthday; their friends and family get together to celebrate them, celebrate them in their own lives. So, it’s Ryan’s birthday and my job as his loved one is to make him feel celebrated and loved. To think, “Where would my life be without him in it” and then package that all up somehow and give it to him. I’m to celebrate him in my life, to celebrate the fact that he was born.

Ok, so it’s Christ’s birthday. Where would my life be without Him in it? Now THAT is the question. Clearly I can’t answer that in a one hour service, that’s why we have a whole season of advent. Yes, advent is our preparation time for answering this question. During advent, we get the chance to prepare for this birthday party. Where would our lives be if Christ were not in it? That’s what advent means. Ok, well, according to the dictionary, advent means, “the coming of something highly anticipated; and the coming into place.” Looking at that, something highly anticipated, yes, we highly anticipate Christmas. But do we anticipate the right part of Christmas. Do we anticipate the celebration of Christ in our lives? That is what we’re supposed to spend advent doing. So advent is really a period of patience and reflection.

Katie asked me recently, how is advent different for me now that I’m pregnant. And, I’ll be honest, I hadn’t thought about it being any different until she asked me that question. But the fact is, it’s very different. After Katie asked me that question, I thought, well, in a way, I can relate to Mary. In a very obvious way; we’re both pregnant. But her story is very different. Her waiting time for her baby is very different than mine. Simply because of the circumstances. To help you understand what I mean, I’d like to talk about Mary and Joseph’s situation as if it were to take place today. I know, in the bible times things were different, but lets look at their situation and think about how they might be perceived today.
So here is this young couple, and when I say young, I’m pretty sure they were in their teens, at least Mary was. They’re engaged to be married and they didn’t call Mary the Virgin Mary for no reason; they were pure. Thinking they’re like any other couple, Mary goes about her business and one day an Archangle, Gabriel comes to her and says, “Mary, God really likes you, and he has chosen YOU to be the one to carry his son, the Christ child; so, you’re going to become pregnant with the Lord’s baby.” Ok, not in those words, but we’re thinking about this happening today, remember. When Mary questions Gabriel, which good for her for doubting this guy, it does sound a bit unbelievable! Gabriel says, “no really, God has taken favor on you.” Personally, I would have been like, “Oh, taken favor on me… right… this guy is a little nutty here.” And maybe she did think that, but then she really did become pregnant. So, Gabriel turns out to be the real deal and he’s not nutts. Now, Mary has to go to her fiance. And I’m thinking her conversation, in today’s world remember, went something like this, “Hey Joe-seph… ummm… ok, you can’t be mad… because I swear, I didn’t cheat on you and I wasn’t unfaithful… but… I’m pregnant. And you’re not going to believe this but it’s true… it’s God’s child.”
If you’re Joseph, what is your reaction?
Well, if you’re thinking, “Yeah right… even if that were true, the whole town is going to think my fiancé is a cheating you know what, I’m so not sticking around to deal with the fallout from this, I’m not going to look like a fool,” then you pretty much have the same reaction he did.
However, an Angel comes to Joseph in his dream and basically says to him, ‘Joseph, don’t leave Mary, what she’s saying is the truth. She’s going to need you by her side, so stick it out.”
And, Joseph does.
Talk about strong faith.

So, Mary’s situation then gets very complicated. A teenage woman, not married, claiming to be faithful to Joseph, is pregnant. If you have watched the news lately and seen the hype over Jamie Lyn Spears, a 16 yr. old actress being pregnant, you can imagine the hype the townspeople had over Mary, a “virgin” being pregnant.

Aside from all of the hype and the scrutiny she might have faced, I wonder how many of our thoughts are/were the same? She’s been told that her baby will be the Christ child. I’m sure she wondered what the heck that meant. I know, because I am a Christian, that my baby has a purpose on this earth, but I wonder all the time, what that purpose will be. I also wonder, diid Mary know the gender? I wonder that every day about our baby. Did people come up to Mary like they do to me and say, “oooh, you’re carrying all out front, it’s a boy.” Or, “if you feel like you don’t look as good as you always did, then it’s a girl; girls take their mother’s beauty while they’re pregnant” Did she want to say to them, “you don’t know that!! Only God knows what I’m having?” What I do know is that Mary had to do what Ryan and I have to do and put our trust in the Lord that whatever this baby looks like or however this baby is born, we have to trust that God will not give us more than we can handle. That this baby is going to be born the way God intends, and we will be blessed and ready for it.

Which for us, is probably even easier than for Mary, because we planned this. Ok, not quite as soon as it happened, but we planned this pregnancy, and we went about this the “correct” Christian way; so we didn’t have to face a lot of the stuff Mary had to face. Mary didn’t plan this; it was planned for her. I know how scared I am about the actual birth and then the changes my life will have once I have this baby, and I planned it all. I had even more time to think about it than she did.

How trusting and faithful Mary and Joseph were. Think about them the next time you ask God for guidance; it doesn’t always come in the form we think it will; but we’re asked to trust the Lord.

So back to Katie’s question of me, “How is advent different for me now that I’m pregnant? Well, not only is this the advent of Christmas for me, it’s the advent of my child’s birth. This advent has a dual purpose and meaning for me. This advent season has been spent nesting, cleaning like a madwoman, preparing for a new life in our house. Practicing patience, because I can’t really NOT be patient! But more than that, it’s been about trusting in God and having faith that this is the right plan for Ryan and me. Throughout the pregnancy there have been some complications and some unanswered questions… a big one was whether or not our baby would have the same birth defects that I had and what that might mean for us. With a great deal of prayer and faith that God would help us through that if it did happen; we found out that so far, there are no signs of cleft lip or palate for our baby. Thank God. We also found out that earlier complications are no longer complications or even issues to worry about. Faith rewarded, we believe. We continue to trust that the Lord will carry us through whatever comes our way.

This advent, I’ve prayed a lot, tried to be patient, and taken a lot of time to reflect. I don’t think I’ve even known to do that in other years. But, the truth is, that is what advent should be; a time of prayer, preparation, and reflection: about Christ, and Christ in your life. About the Savior that was given to the world, to you, and to us. Christ was born with a purpose, as we all are. His purpose was to save us, to save us from our sins, to absolve us so that we can be forgiven and spend eternity with the Lord. That is what we’re celebrating in two days. Our gift of eternity. The fact that without Christ in our lives, without these people here in this church that God has put into our lives to share in this advent; we would not be the people that we are.

I think that this advent is very important to us as individuals of All Saints’ Episcopal as well as one family. I’d like to think that this past 10 months has been All Saints’ Episcopal’s advent; the coming of something highly anticipated. We have prepared, prayed and taken steps to be ready for the birth and growth of a new congregation. We will continue to do this and continue to grow in numbers and faith, as long as we remain strong and remember that God has a plan for us and is in charge.
And, as we try to do on Christmas and throughout the Christmas season with our own families, lets keep our church family close; celebrate and cherish that family; because God gave each and every one of us to each other; just as he gave Joseph to Mary to support her and stand by her through everything.

And please, I challenge you; don’t lose sight of the true meaning. The celebration of Christ’s life. Thinking about how important Christ is in your life and just how much it means that this baby was born; a Savior for us.

2 more days. Are you ready?


Amen

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was held at our apartment this year. And that means that I hosted instead of taking pictures... Oh, I am such a horrible photographer. I really wish it was something I remembered to do, but I really don't.
If I had taken pictures, you'd see them like this.

My parents came on Wednesday night and parked their motorhome in the back of our building. So, you'd see us watching TV together Wednesday night. Then you'd see my mom making Chicken Parm (she knows it's my favorite meal!!) and Ryan went to the Celtics game, so he missed out on the deliciousness that was dinner!

Then there would be pictures of my dad blowing these enormous bubbles in the tub for Maddie and she loved every minute of it!!

When dad went to bed, Mom and I began the food prep for the next day. We peeled potatoes and squash (and a turnip) for what seemed like hours. Mom and I don't get a lot of alone time, so I eat it up when we do. This time was great because not only did she pass on her incredible cooking knowledge (and teach me how to cook a turkey) but we chatted about everything. Mom is in her glory in the kitchen... I always thought she should have a cooking show, she'd be so great at it!!

Once we finished getting all of the veggies prepped for the morning and put the turkey in the oven, we sat and chatted for a bit and I made her sit through the next Brothers and Sisters episode (I'm still on season 2, but I can't get enough of this family!!)

Thursday morning was spent watching the parade (or Hurade as Maddie called it) and then Becky and the kids arrived. Mom and I were mashing and getting appetizers ready as the in-laws arrived and shortly after, Scott, Holly and Hayden showed up. That's right, we had 14 people in our tiny apartment and I couldn't have been happier.

There were many "that's what she said" comments and I think Holly realized she was marrying into a nutty family, but she loved it!! She also loved the wine (something we have in common!) The next picture you'd see is of the boys (Mark, Matthew and Hayden) all playing outside. They were sliding down the clock tower ramp on their bellies and somehow their pants got soaked!! So when they came in, I made them all hang out in my bedroom, I took their jeans off and threw them into the dryer. Well, this, I thought would be embarrassing, but no! The boys loved jumping on my bed in their underwear, in fact, they were pretending to be models and singing, "We're hotties, we're hotties!!" So funny!! They're 10 and 6!

We had the kids eat at Maddie's princess table (the boys were oh so thrilled about this) and the adults at the adult table!!

I wanted so badly to start the tradition of going around the table and saying what you're thankful for, but I didn't. Why? Well, I don't know, I know its a corny thing to do and didn't want to force people to say something... plus I know that this time of year is hard on Becky (Friday would be her 10 year anniversary) so I didn't want her to think she was being put on the spot or anything like that... but really, I think I'm going to start it next year.

Thanksgiving afternoon, after all the dishes were done and the house was a little quieter, Becky, Mom and I played Scrabble while the kids played all over the house. (I won, but really, who's keeping score!)

Thanksgiving night Dad went to bed early and Ryan, Mom and I watched Elf. Well, mom left around 10:30 and Ryan and I fell asleep on the couch!

Friday morning we hung around the house, Mom and Dad went to lunch with friends and Ryan and I did some shopping. The stores were not bad at all, especially for Black Friday!!

The best part of the weekend though, was Sunday morning. Saturday night after Maddie went to bed, Ryan and I put up the Christmas Tree and all of the decorations. So, Sunday morning, Maddie came out into the living room and saw the tree!! The look on her face was incredible!!!
We decided that will be our tradition. We wont tell her when we're putting it up, but just one morning each year, she'll wake up and the house will be decorated!! This morning, she went out to the living room and said, "Chu chu Tree, I missed you!!" We're working on "Christmas!" I just love that she's at the age where she's so enamored with these things!! So fun.... Our tree, however, I do have a picture of...

Thankful

That I am...

For my family. So many people have members of their family (immediate) that they don't talk to. I don't have that and never will. When we have issues, we talk about them. It might take a few days but we talk about the issues.

For my dad's health. He went to the doctor to get his biopsy results yesterday, which I really wish were clear, but they weren't. HOWEVER, the cancer did not spread; THANK GOD. For that, I am thankful. I wish I could say that he is done with treatment and that horrible process was over; but I can't. He has to have intense rounds of treatment starting Dec. 13th and I am sure he is dreading that; but he is so strong. His strength and ability to see the silver lining in all of this is so inspirational. And I am just happy that it is not worse than it is.

I am thankful for my job. I am even more thankful that I love my job. I love my students, I love the opportunities that I am given in this job and I love who I am when I'm at work.

I am thankful for my friends. I have a great deal of acquaintances and some incredible best friends. I love the support and relationships I have with these friends.

I am so thankful that I have grown to love being a mom. It was rough there for a while, but I do love being Maddie's mom. Its the hardest job I've ever had but I do love it. I have such a great example in my mom. She's got this insane sense of patience that I just don't know where it comes from!! She can listen to me complain and ramble and instead of telling me to stop or getting frustrated, she'll listen, validate where necessary and help when I need it. She's never been one to tell me what to do or be pushy when offering guidance and I appreciate that so much. I need to try to remember that when dealing with Maddie. It's going to be so tough to not just want to make her decisions for her; but mom never did that to me, so I need to learn from her.

This Thanksgiving, I am one very blessed girl. I have tons to be thankful for and very little complaints.

15 years later... and still in love

It is one thing to love someone for 15 years, its another to be IN love with them. I am so blessed to say that 15 years later, I am still IN love with Ryan.

He still makes me laugh, he still gives me chills, he still is the greatest guy I've ever met.

And today was no different.

Flowers.

Delivered to my office...

He's incredible...

Just to remind me to cheer up!!!

I love him... and am IN love with him.... and very blessed....