Pride

If you've read my last two blog posts, you know that dance class is a speed bump in the Surgens' journey right now.
 Yesterday morning, Maddie was starting to cry in bed and said, "Mumma, I don't like ballet"... This is her new thing.  When something makes her uncomfortable or nervous, she "doesn't like it"... So I said, "Hunny, you were so happy last week, you do like it."  To which she countered, "But I need you in the room.  I get so sad if you're not and I can't stop crying"...  So, I knew this week would not be the week that I was able to sit out in the waiting room with parents.  I knew it would be a battle.

And it wasn't... but I think we're getting somewhere...

It's a funny thing... I don't think I have the feeling of pride very often - it's just not something I'm used to.  But lately, as a mom, I've been experiencing emotional moments and they are pretty cool - pride-ful moments.

Today, i brought Maddie back to dance class.  We've compromised since her first class - the second class, I sat in the studio by the door the whole time - and she was fine.  No tears.
Today, (after our conversation about it yesterday) I told her I'd sit outside the door where she could just barely see me.  No tears.

While sitting outside the door, I could peek in and see that she was doing well and not crying - and she (all too often) could peek out at me and see that I was still there and not leaving her.

The first 20 minutes are spent in their tap shoes playing games that get them to shuffle, kick, and tap.  She listens so well to the teacher and really tries to make sure she's doing everything correctly (which is a lot more than I can say for other kids in the class!)

Then after 20 minutes or so, they switch to ballet shoes and play games getting them to point their toes, sit up straight, flex their feet and jump.  She has the children run around a lot and at one point I looked in and saw one little girl (Ava) holding Maddie's hand!!! They were running all over the studio (with the teacher) holding hands and laughing like they didn't have a care in the world!!! 
I was thrilled!!  THRILLED!! and PROUD!! Proud that my little girl was the girl that Ava chose to hold hands with.

I know that sounds silly, but as someone who was tortured as a child by other children (teased, bullied, made fun of for my looks mercilessly) , my biggest prayer and hope for Madison is that she is not a victim of childhood cruelty like I was and that other children accept and like her.  So, this small act of acceptance and inclusion was so meaningful to me.

After prancing around holding hands, they did another activity where they pretended they were at a river with an alligator in it - they had to jump from rock to rock and then over the river (practicing jumping)... Ava went first, and then sat on the mat they were told to do.  Maddie went after Ava, and as she finished, Ava patted the spot next to her and said, "Maddie, sit next to me" and when Maddie did, Ava reached for her hand and held it again.  I'm tearing up all over again retelling this... I was just so excited!!!
They skipped around again holding hands and my cute little innocent Maddie said, "do you want to be my friend"... to which Ava laughed and nodded!!

Oh the cuteness - and the relief and pride that I felt was so intense, I couldn't hold back the tears.  And I am not emotional like that - I'm usually not... But when it comes to my girl, I just want the best for her and I want her to have a pain free life (trust me, I know that's not possible - but avoiding the unnecessary pain like torture from other kids is what I really want for her!)

So, to say the least, today's dance class was a hit!!  I'm aiming to spend half of the time in the doorway and the other half in the waiting room at the next class.  (A little nervous because we're missing next week to spend the weekend with friends in NY - so I don't want the 'bond' between Ava and Maddie to be lost over the two weeks!!  I'm sure it wont, though, kids are funny like that!)

The funniest part is that when we got home, in the car as I was unbuckling her, Maddie said, "Mumma, I didn't cry today and I made a friend - that mean's I'm getting brave, doesn't it?"  Yes Maddie, it does!!

So, today was one of my proudest, what is your proudest moment?