Tales of a Working Mother

A lot has happened since my last post. Firstly, Amber came home from WA for her Baby shower.

I was almost "That Girl" though. That girl that brings her kid, even though no other kids were there. I am so glad I had some random gut feeling about it the night before, because it could have been really uncomfortable. See, two months ago, I had emailed her sister asking how I could help and if she needed anything. In her response, she stated, "Ooh, and bring Maddie, I know Amber wants to meet her" when talking about the shower.

So, all along, I had been planning to bring Maddie. I got her a cute dress, had my sister plan to bring Elizabeth so they'd be able to see each other, and cut her hair the night before so she wouldn't look like a rag-a-muffin when meeting her mother's childhood best friend! But, when I went to write down Deanna's address, I grabbed the invite and it hit me. Maddie's name wasn't on the invite. And then (forgetting about the previously mentioned email) I couldn't figure out why I had simply assumed Maddie was invited... So I texted Amber and asked what other kids were going to be there. Amber texted back that Deanna didn't think any other kids were going to be there. Uh oh!
Having Ryan change his afternoon plans to be with Maddie wasn't a huge deal, but I know Becky had made arrangements for just Elizabeth to come tomorrow and getting someone to watch her might be tough.
A few more texts were sent back and forth between me and Amber, and I could tell that the atmosphere was not going to be a children friendly one, and Amber confirmed this... so I tried to call Becky but couldn't reach her and called my mom to fill her in. After a little scrambling, we figured that we had promised Elizabeth and Maddie that they'd get to see each other and we didn't want to break that promise. So, Ryan was (a little reluctant at first) a good guy and drove me to Westport, picked up Elizabeth from Becky and took the girls for the afternoon. Crisis averted!

It's funny, kids at a shower or social gathering like that do one of two things. They can alleviate some of the pressure from the nervous individual in the spotlight, or they can cause a distraction and take the attention away from the person in the spotlight. In the small crowd that was at her shower, I really think it was best that the girls weren't there.
And I am SOOOO glad that I got that funny feeling and texted Amber, because I would have felt like such a jerk! Her best friend has a baby, her sister in law has a little one almost Maddie's age, and really, if they weren't bringing their kids, it would have just been so awkward! And... thank God Amber felt comfortable enough being honest with me, that couldn't have been easy!! Even after all that though, I didn't want her thinking that I was rude by just assuming Maddie could come, so I emailed her and just showed her the email from Deanna, not to start conflict or anything, but more to clear my conscious and let her know where the whole thing came from... not me being completely unaware of shower etiquette!

Either way... it was so nice to see her and her family. And it's funny, because I've always had this awkward relationship with her sister Deanna. There was a time where we were VERY close... then there was some animosity between us for a few different reasons. I don't know how she feels about it all now, but I just feel that we're so much further past those things that caused us to not be friends, and we've both seen what really matters in life that we could call each other friends. I hope it's that way for her too, but you never know. I just know it was nice to be there.

And, yes, I drank a little too much... it happens. I hope I didn't make an idiot of myself, sometimes that happens! They invited me back the next day, so it couldn't have been that bad!

So, Amber (and Deanna) did get to meet Maddie. She and I went over to Deanna's on Sunday. Ryan had changed plans to help a friend pack so he didn't join (and actually didn't end up doing that, but did end up getting his lessons for the week done, so he needed to be home anyways.)
It was very relaxed, and we just chatted for an hour or so, Maddie was a little clingy, but she did pretty well. I was glad they got to meet her. Its funny, I feel like she's my great accomplishment, so I like to introduce her to people... When really, she's pretty much like any other 21 month old, but to me, she's amazing!

So that was Amber's visit. I was very glad I got to see her both times.

As for the rest of life... well, I haven't wanted to blog about it because it's tough to take... but my sister is separating from her husband. It has been her decision and she's being so strong with all of this. Its still tough, ten years of marriage is not easy to end, regardless of who initiates it or what the reasons. Basically she now knows that she deserves to be treated better and she wants more for her daughter than a marriage where no love is physically shown. He moved out on Sunday and I went there on Monday to help her sort out bills and help get her on a budget.
Its tough because I love her so much and I don't want her to make decisions based on the raw emotions shes going through right now. Often I feel myself being too parental with her, but I can't help it. There are a lot of details to it all, but it's putting a huge stress on our friendship and I'm in tears a lot over it, which is not great for my marriage or my family.
I feel like I know whats good for her, what steps she needs to take to get in a good place, and she feels like she needs to make those decisions on her own (some of which I don't agree with)... But as Ryan said last night, "you can't love her into making the right decisions... you just have to love her through it all and help when she needs it."
So I'm trying...

And praying...