Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was held at our apartment this year. And that means that I hosted instead of taking pictures... Oh, I am such a horrible photographer. I really wish it was something I remembered to do, but I really don't.
If I had taken pictures, you'd see them like this.

My parents came on Wednesday night and parked their motorhome in the back of our building. So, you'd see us watching TV together Wednesday night. Then you'd see my mom making Chicken Parm (she knows it's my favorite meal!!) and Ryan went to the Celtics game, so he missed out on the deliciousness that was dinner!

Then there would be pictures of my dad blowing these enormous bubbles in the tub for Maddie and she loved every minute of it!!

When dad went to bed, Mom and I began the food prep for the next day. We peeled potatoes and squash (and a turnip) for what seemed like hours. Mom and I don't get a lot of alone time, so I eat it up when we do. This time was great because not only did she pass on her incredible cooking knowledge (and teach me how to cook a turkey) but we chatted about everything. Mom is in her glory in the kitchen... I always thought she should have a cooking show, she'd be so great at it!!

Once we finished getting all of the veggies prepped for the morning and put the turkey in the oven, we sat and chatted for a bit and I made her sit through the next Brothers and Sisters episode (I'm still on season 2, but I can't get enough of this family!!)

Thursday morning was spent watching the parade (or Hurade as Maddie called it) and then Becky and the kids arrived. Mom and I were mashing and getting appetizers ready as the in-laws arrived and shortly after, Scott, Holly and Hayden showed up. That's right, we had 14 people in our tiny apartment and I couldn't have been happier.

There were many "that's what she said" comments and I think Holly realized she was marrying into a nutty family, but she loved it!! She also loved the wine (something we have in common!) The next picture you'd see is of the boys (Mark, Matthew and Hayden) all playing outside. They were sliding down the clock tower ramp on their bellies and somehow their pants got soaked!! So when they came in, I made them all hang out in my bedroom, I took their jeans off and threw them into the dryer. Well, this, I thought would be embarrassing, but no! The boys loved jumping on my bed in their underwear, in fact, they were pretending to be models and singing, "We're hotties, we're hotties!!" So funny!! They're 10 and 6!

We had the kids eat at Maddie's princess table (the boys were oh so thrilled about this) and the adults at the adult table!!

I wanted so badly to start the tradition of going around the table and saying what you're thankful for, but I didn't. Why? Well, I don't know, I know its a corny thing to do and didn't want to force people to say something... plus I know that this time of year is hard on Becky (Friday would be her 10 year anniversary) so I didn't want her to think she was being put on the spot or anything like that... but really, I think I'm going to start it next year.

Thanksgiving afternoon, after all the dishes were done and the house was a little quieter, Becky, Mom and I played Scrabble while the kids played all over the house. (I won, but really, who's keeping score!)

Thanksgiving night Dad went to bed early and Ryan, Mom and I watched Elf. Well, mom left around 10:30 and Ryan and I fell asleep on the couch!

Friday morning we hung around the house, Mom and Dad went to lunch with friends and Ryan and I did some shopping. The stores were not bad at all, especially for Black Friday!!

The best part of the weekend though, was Sunday morning. Saturday night after Maddie went to bed, Ryan and I put up the Christmas Tree and all of the decorations. So, Sunday morning, Maddie came out into the living room and saw the tree!! The look on her face was incredible!!!
We decided that will be our tradition. We wont tell her when we're putting it up, but just one morning each year, she'll wake up and the house will be decorated!! This morning, she went out to the living room and said, "Chu chu Tree, I missed you!!" We're working on "Christmas!" I just love that she's at the age where she's so enamored with these things!! So fun.... Our tree, however, I do have a picture of...

Thankful

That I am...

For my family. So many people have members of their family (immediate) that they don't talk to. I don't have that and never will. When we have issues, we talk about them. It might take a few days but we talk about the issues.

For my dad's health. He went to the doctor to get his biopsy results yesterday, which I really wish were clear, but they weren't. HOWEVER, the cancer did not spread; THANK GOD. For that, I am thankful. I wish I could say that he is done with treatment and that horrible process was over; but I can't. He has to have intense rounds of treatment starting Dec. 13th and I am sure he is dreading that; but he is so strong. His strength and ability to see the silver lining in all of this is so inspirational. And I am just happy that it is not worse than it is.

I am thankful for my job. I am even more thankful that I love my job. I love my students, I love the opportunities that I am given in this job and I love who I am when I'm at work.

I am thankful for my friends. I have a great deal of acquaintances and some incredible best friends. I love the support and relationships I have with these friends.

I am so thankful that I have grown to love being a mom. It was rough there for a while, but I do love being Maddie's mom. Its the hardest job I've ever had but I do love it. I have such a great example in my mom. She's got this insane sense of patience that I just don't know where it comes from!! She can listen to me complain and ramble and instead of telling me to stop or getting frustrated, she'll listen, validate where necessary and help when I need it. She's never been one to tell me what to do or be pushy when offering guidance and I appreciate that so much. I need to try to remember that when dealing with Maddie. It's going to be so tough to not just want to make her decisions for her; but mom never did that to me, so I need to learn from her.

This Thanksgiving, I am one very blessed girl. I have tons to be thankful for and very little complaints.

15 years later... and still in love

It is one thing to love someone for 15 years, its another to be IN love with them. I am so blessed to say that 15 years later, I am still IN love with Ryan.

He still makes me laugh, he still gives me chills, he still is the greatest guy I've ever met.

And today was no different.

Flowers.

Delivered to my office...

He's incredible...

Just to remind me to cheer up!!!

I love him... and am IN love with him.... and very blessed....

Confidence Booster

So the time change didn't kick in until today! We set the clocks back on Saturday night, figured Maddie would be up at the crack of dawn on Sunday, but nope; she slept until 8:30am! Yesterday, she slept until a little after 7:30am which wasn't bad... but today, up a little before 7am! Uggh!
This always messes with my morning routine when she's up early.
You see, I get up at 5:45am with Ryan and go for my run. I usually get out the door by 6, so I run and come back by 6:30am. Then I am able to cool down and lay down (not always fall back asleep but at least rest) until my alarm goes off at 7:45am.
I can get in the shower and get my clothes ironed by the time Maddie is talking in her crib. (She is usually just waking up when I get in the shower, but like me, she takes a good 15 minutes to actually wake up enough to function!)
Then I am able to get her eating breakfast while I do my hair and get dressed.

When she's up early, this all changes!

So this morning, we laid on the couch together for about 20 minutes and watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Then I told her I needed to shower. She decided she would come in the bathroom and sit on the stool outside the tub while I showered.
Good deal, I could make sure she wasn't getting into anything she shouldn't and she could still sit and talk my ear off!

So, she was taking her tubby toys and dropping them into the tub, I'd put them back on the side of the tub, and the cycle continued...

Well, she got bored with this, so she held open the curtain and looked in as I was washing my face and said, "Mumma, you washin'?" "Yep, Maddie, Mumma's in the shower, getting clean." Then she looked me up and down from head to toe (which is usually followed by something about boobies or belly button or something silly), but instead she said, "Mumma, you're beautiful"....

Seriously! Is there a better compliment?
I think not!

A lot has happened since my last post. Firstly, Amber came home from WA for her Baby shower.

I was almost "That Girl" though. That girl that brings her kid, even though no other kids were there. I am so glad I had some random gut feeling about it the night before, because it could have been really uncomfortable. See, two months ago, I had emailed her sister asking how I could help and if she needed anything. In her response, she stated, "Ooh, and bring Maddie, I know Amber wants to meet her" when talking about the shower.

So, all along, I had been planning to bring Maddie. I got her a cute dress, had my sister plan to bring Elizabeth so they'd be able to see each other, and cut her hair the night before so she wouldn't look like a rag-a-muffin when meeting her mother's childhood best friend! But, when I went to write down Deanna's address, I grabbed the invite and it hit me. Maddie's name wasn't on the invite. And then (forgetting about the previously mentioned email) I couldn't figure out why I had simply assumed Maddie was invited... So I texted Amber and asked what other kids were going to be there. Amber texted back that Deanna didn't think any other kids were going to be there. Uh oh!
Having Ryan change his afternoon plans to be with Maddie wasn't a huge deal, but I know Becky had made arrangements for just Elizabeth to come tomorrow and getting someone to watch her might be tough.
A few more texts were sent back and forth between me and Amber, and I could tell that the atmosphere was not going to be a children friendly one, and Amber confirmed this... so I tried to call Becky but couldn't reach her and called my mom to fill her in. After a little scrambling, we figured that we had promised Elizabeth and Maddie that they'd get to see each other and we didn't want to break that promise. So, Ryan was (a little reluctant at first) a good guy and drove me to Westport, picked up Elizabeth from Becky and took the girls for the afternoon. Crisis averted!

It's funny, kids at a shower or social gathering like that do one of two things. They can alleviate some of the pressure from the nervous individual in the spotlight, or they can cause a distraction and take the attention away from the person in the spotlight. In the small crowd that was at her shower, I really think it was best that the girls weren't there.
And I am SOOOO glad that I got that funny feeling and texted Amber, because I would have felt like such a jerk! Her best friend has a baby, her sister in law has a little one almost Maddie's age, and really, if they weren't bringing their kids, it would have just been so awkward! And... thank God Amber felt comfortable enough being honest with me, that couldn't have been easy!! Even after all that though, I didn't want her thinking that I was rude by just assuming Maddie could come, so I emailed her and just showed her the email from Deanna, not to start conflict or anything, but more to clear my conscious and let her know where the whole thing came from... not me being completely unaware of shower etiquette!

Either way... it was so nice to see her and her family. And it's funny, because I've always had this awkward relationship with her sister Deanna. There was a time where we were VERY close... then there was some animosity between us for a few different reasons. I don't know how she feels about it all now, but I just feel that we're so much further past those things that caused us to not be friends, and we've both seen what really matters in life that we could call each other friends. I hope it's that way for her too, but you never know. I just know it was nice to be there.

And, yes, I drank a little too much... it happens. I hope I didn't make an idiot of myself, sometimes that happens! They invited me back the next day, so it couldn't have been that bad!

So, Amber (and Deanna) did get to meet Maddie. She and I went over to Deanna's on Sunday. Ryan had changed plans to help a friend pack so he didn't join (and actually didn't end up doing that, but did end up getting his lessons for the week done, so he needed to be home anyways.)
It was very relaxed, and we just chatted for an hour or so, Maddie was a little clingy, but she did pretty well. I was glad they got to meet her. Its funny, I feel like she's my great accomplishment, so I like to introduce her to people... When really, she's pretty much like any other 21 month old, but to me, she's amazing!

So that was Amber's visit. I was very glad I got to see her both times.

As for the rest of life... well, I haven't wanted to blog about it because it's tough to take... but my sister is separating from her husband. It has been her decision and she's being so strong with all of this. Its still tough, ten years of marriage is not easy to end, regardless of who initiates it or what the reasons. Basically she now knows that she deserves to be treated better and she wants more for her daughter than a marriage where no love is physically shown. He moved out on Sunday and I went there on Monday to help her sort out bills and help get her on a budget.
Its tough because I love her so much and I don't want her to make decisions based on the raw emotions shes going through right now. Often I feel myself being too parental with her, but I can't help it. There are a lot of details to it all, but it's putting a huge stress on our friendship and I'm in tears a lot over it, which is not great for my marriage or my family.
I feel like I know whats good for her, what steps she needs to take to get in a good place, and she feels like she needs to make those decisions on her own (some of which I don't agree with)... But as Ryan said last night, "you can't love her into making the right decisions... you just have to love her through it all and help when she needs it."
So I'm trying...

And praying...

friendships...

So, last night I found out that a once "best friend" of mine got married on Sunday. Aside from being happy for her, which I am... I know this guy is an amazing guy and she's deliriously happy with him... I was hurt. Hurt that I didn't even know she got married, didn't even know she was engaged! Clearly the wedding must have been quickly planned, because I talked with her a year ago (a little over a year actually) and she told me all about him, but they weren't engaged yet.
We stopped calling each other just because of our schedules, I started taking on more at work, and just got really busy and she was in school getting her masters. Then I would text her and hear nothing.

I figured out last night that she changed her cell phone number, because I texted her to say Happy Birthday and received a message back saying the message couldn't be delivered.

I know etiquette says that if someone invites you to their wedding, you should invite them to yours... what is the etiquette on being in the wedding. She was one of my bridesmaids... shouldn't I have at least known she was getting married.

Those are my first thoughts... Then I go through the "stop being selfish - you know how expensive weddings are, you hadn't talked to her for a year and it was 5 years ago that she was in your wedding... a lot changes."
I also pretty much reminded myself that she was in my wedding, because I had promised her she would be (even before we were engaged!) I realize now that if I were to do it all over, Amber would have been in my wedding. She always should have been... I didn't keep my promise to Dawn (another friend who I had promised would be in my wedding years before it happened) so why did I feel the need to keep it with Julie. I guess, I thought it was different. Amber and I had a lot of ups and downs in college and a little after, but I should have known that our friendship was built on the love of God so it would have lasted. I hate having that regret; about the wedding. I think Amber knows, though, now, that I would have done things differently.

Anyways, I can't dwell on what I can't help. And really, I don't know why I got so bent out of shape. I guess it goes with my need to know things!! I hate being the last to find something out!! But really, who cares that I didn't know... what matters is that she's happy, married, and had a great day for her wedding day!! I'm so happy for her.

This also made me realize that I need to make a better effort with my friends. I need to let those that matter really feel like they matter. Visit with them, email them, call them (although I just hate talking on the phone, so that will be hard!)

Pumpkins in PA

Despite Ryan's back being out and Kate's nauseousness from the pregnancy, we were determined to spend the weekend in PA with Kate and Brett! We left Saturday morning (we attempted to leave at 8am, but somehow packing the car took much longer than expected!)
We left at 9 and got there at 3pm! The ride wasn't bad at all actually.
Kate is by far the best cook I've ever met (ok, besides my mom!) Kate cooks things I would never attempt. Saturday night, her nauseousness was gone, so she was excited to cook (at least she told us that!) And she made stuffed tomatoes for an appetizer and then made pasta with cauliflower as the main dish! Now, I would never have known that I actually DO like cauliflower, but that meal was unbelievable!! And, Maddie had THREE helpings!!! She loved it!!!

I learn so much about cooking when I'm at Kate's. I already made the stuffed tomatoes last night and they were sooo good!

Sunday night she made a stew and butternut squash soup. oh soo good!! The soup seriously tasted like "fall in a cup!"

I bought cauliflower and butternut squash when I went grocery shopping this week and seriously can not wait to cook both meals!!

But more about our time together. Ok, we have a few "couple friends" and Tricia and Mike are our closest... we can be with them and there is no awkward silence, we can do embarrassing things in the same room and just laugh with each other. I think that is because we've known each other for almost 15 years and well, we've traveled together and spent tons of time together... But, we have the same relationship with Kate and Brett, I found, this weekend!

Saturday night we were all just hanging out watching sports or whatever was on, and there was no awkwardness... we weren't searching for stuff to talk about or anything like that. They are so warm, as a couple. I just love them. We have such fun conversations too. And Ryan and Brett are so similar its scary!!

Sunday night Kate had to work, but it was similar; watching football just shooting the breeze. We talked with Brett about the baby and how he felt about it; reassuring him that God would provide all they needed and not to worry too much about being able to afford it. It was so great!

On Sunday we went to this farm and picked out a pumpkin, went on a hayride, bought some apples and freshly made donuts and Maddie loved EVERY minute of it!

I hope they do know how much we appreciated them spending their weekend with us!! It was so great to be away and not have any distractions (no cell service = no blackberry, no work, no facebook, no nothing! and believe it or not, i loved it!)


Here are the pictures....