It's been a while

I haven't posted in quite some time, so I do have a lot to update.

We went to Nashville for a week, which was wonderful! Getting away and spending the week with our best friends was just what we needed. I was quite nervous for Maddie's first plane ride, however, she surprised us completely and loved it! She didn't seem bothered at all when our ears felt the pressure, the only part she wasn't crazy about was how confined we were. The planes were tiny! 13 rows back and 3 seats across and that was it! So, there was not much room with her on my lap.
Other than that though, I couldn't have asked her to be any better!

We did all of the country fan-touristy things while in Nashville and had a great time as a family as well as catching up with Mike and Trish.

While we were gone, my dad had surgery. I've been avoiding blogging about this, because for some reason, putting it in writing makes it real. He was diagnosed a week or so before we left with Bladder Cancer. I took it much harder than I thought I would. I almost knew it was coming, he was very upfront with the symptoms as he felt them and noticed them, but I guess all along, I was praying and hoping it would end up being something else.

So, when he was diagnosed, I left work in tears. Got in my car and met my sister. We both decided that we just wanted to be with him and my mom so we went there and all had dinner together. I think it was helpful for all of us. We wanted to see him, to be normal with him, and let him know that we'd support whatever came his way.

He had surgery while I was in Nashville, and they think they got all of the cancer. He has to go back at some point this week for a follow up and we will know more then.
Thank you GOD that they could do this surgery and that they got it all.

This weekend was the memorial service for my Aunt Marsha that passed away in March. I was better composed throughout the service than I expected, but that night and all of Sunday I was an emotional wreck. Her death hit me so much harder than I had expected. Its funny how some people are in your life, you know you love them, you know they mean a lot to you, but until something happens, you just don't realize the extent of all of that. Really, I think she knew I loved her and that she meant a lot to me; but I know for a fact she has and had no idea how much of an impact she had on my life.

Aunt Marsha was someone who made others laugh all the time. She loved to be around children and children loved to be around her. She could look at someone and see the beauty in them, even if it were buried beneath a mask or a facade. She also had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the world when you were talking to her.
I remember the day after Maddie was born, she came to the hospital to visit us. She kissed me and gave me a look and in her eyes I could tell that she understood my emotions at that moment. Her eyes spoke a certain peace to me, as if to say, "its ok hunny, you can do this."
I learned so much from her over the years. As a kid, she was an adult that I minded and looked up to. She yelled at us (kids) when we would play in the cabins (where we were told numerous times not to play)...
As a pre-teen, she emerged as a Christian role model. I saw her show Christ's love to others in a way that was so peaceful and not forceful. I loved that. I loved being around her.
As a young adult, I was at her house very often, whether for Happening things (a Christian Youth weekend I ran) or Alpha (a Christian course I took with her) and I loved being with her, not just around her. I loved having conversations with her, I loved that she almost always had a cup of coffee in her hand and for years had the same gold hoop earrings in her ears every day!
I loved her laugh and the way she'd sing at the top of her lungs for all to hear (not always on key) but she didn't care, it made people smile and laugh and be able to let loose and act silly also. She made you feel good about yourself, all the time.
I loved the relationship she had with her grandchildren and most of all, I loved that she treated me as family (even though technically I am not).
Losing a loved one is so tough, especially when you're not sure if you showed them just how much they mean to you, or even got to prepare yourself for their goodbye. I didn't prepare myself for that, and I didn't get to say goodbye. I know I didn't get to tell her how much she meant to me, and more because I didn't know how to put it in words. The day she died, I woke up that morning before knowing she had died, and said, "I want to email Uncle Dana and ask him to share it with Aunt Marsha and just tell her how much she means to me." I got to work too late to do that.

If I had emailed her I would have tried to tell her all of this, but even this doesn't explain it. I hope someday I can be half the woman, wife, mother, aunt and grandmother that she was. More so I hope I can be half the Christian she was, and if so, I will have achieved greatness.