A lot has happened since my last post. Firstly, Amber came home from WA for her Baby shower.

I was almost "That Girl" though. That girl that brings her kid, even though no other kids were there. I am so glad I had some random gut feeling about it the night before, because it could have been really uncomfortable. See, two months ago, I had emailed her sister asking how I could help and if she needed anything. In her response, she stated, "Ooh, and bring Maddie, I know Amber wants to meet her" when talking about the shower.

So, all along, I had been planning to bring Maddie. I got her a cute dress, had my sister plan to bring Elizabeth so they'd be able to see each other, and cut her hair the night before so she wouldn't look like a rag-a-muffin when meeting her mother's childhood best friend! But, when I went to write down Deanna's address, I grabbed the invite and it hit me. Maddie's name wasn't on the invite. And then (forgetting about the previously mentioned email) I couldn't figure out why I had simply assumed Maddie was invited... So I texted Amber and asked what other kids were going to be there. Amber texted back that Deanna didn't think any other kids were going to be there. Uh oh!
Having Ryan change his afternoon plans to be with Maddie wasn't a huge deal, but I know Becky had made arrangements for just Elizabeth to come tomorrow and getting someone to watch her might be tough.
A few more texts were sent back and forth between me and Amber, and I could tell that the atmosphere was not going to be a children friendly one, and Amber confirmed this... so I tried to call Becky but couldn't reach her and called my mom to fill her in. After a little scrambling, we figured that we had promised Elizabeth and Maddie that they'd get to see each other and we didn't want to break that promise. So, Ryan was (a little reluctant at first) a good guy and drove me to Westport, picked up Elizabeth from Becky and took the girls for the afternoon. Crisis averted!

It's funny, kids at a shower or social gathering like that do one of two things. They can alleviate some of the pressure from the nervous individual in the spotlight, or they can cause a distraction and take the attention away from the person in the spotlight. In the small crowd that was at her shower, I really think it was best that the girls weren't there.
And I am SOOOO glad that I got that funny feeling and texted Amber, because I would have felt like such a jerk! Her best friend has a baby, her sister in law has a little one almost Maddie's age, and really, if they weren't bringing their kids, it would have just been so awkward! And... thank God Amber felt comfortable enough being honest with me, that couldn't have been easy!! Even after all that though, I didn't want her thinking that I was rude by just assuming Maddie could come, so I emailed her and just showed her the email from Deanna, not to start conflict or anything, but more to clear my conscious and let her know where the whole thing came from... not me being completely unaware of shower etiquette!

Either way... it was so nice to see her and her family. And it's funny, because I've always had this awkward relationship with her sister Deanna. There was a time where we were VERY close... then there was some animosity between us for a few different reasons. I don't know how she feels about it all now, but I just feel that we're so much further past those things that caused us to not be friends, and we've both seen what really matters in life that we could call each other friends. I hope it's that way for her too, but you never know. I just know it was nice to be there.

And, yes, I drank a little too much... it happens. I hope I didn't make an idiot of myself, sometimes that happens! They invited me back the next day, so it couldn't have been that bad!

So, Amber (and Deanna) did get to meet Maddie. She and I went over to Deanna's on Sunday. Ryan had changed plans to help a friend pack so he didn't join (and actually didn't end up doing that, but did end up getting his lessons for the week done, so he needed to be home anyways.)
It was very relaxed, and we just chatted for an hour or so, Maddie was a little clingy, but she did pretty well. I was glad they got to meet her. Its funny, I feel like she's my great accomplishment, so I like to introduce her to people... When really, she's pretty much like any other 21 month old, but to me, she's amazing!

So that was Amber's visit. I was very glad I got to see her both times.

As for the rest of life... well, I haven't wanted to blog about it because it's tough to take... but my sister is separating from her husband. It has been her decision and she's being so strong with all of this. Its still tough, ten years of marriage is not easy to end, regardless of who initiates it or what the reasons. Basically she now knows that she deserves to be treated better and she wants more for her daughter than a marriage where no love is physically shown. He moved out on Sunday and I went there on Monday to help her sort out bills and help get her on a budget.
Its tough because I love her so much and I don't want her to make decisions based on the raw emotions shes going through right now. Often I feel myself being too parental with her, but I can't help it. There are a lot of details to it all, but it's putting a huge stress on our friendship and I'm in tears a lot over it, which is not great for my marriage or my family.
I feel like I know whats good for her, what steps she needs to take to get in a good place, and she feels like she needs to make those decisions on her own (some of which I don't agree with)... But as Ryan said last night, "you can't love her into making the right decisions... you just have to love her through it all and help when she needs it."
So I'm trying...

And praying...

friendships...

So, last night I found out that a once "best friend" of mine got married on Sunday. Aside from being happy for her, which I am... I know this guy is an amazing guy and she's deliriously happy with him... I was hurt. Hurt that I didn't even know she got married, didn't even know she was engaged! Clearly the wedding must have been quickly planned, because I talked with her a year ago (a little over a year actually) and she told me all about him, but they weren't engaged yet.
We stopped calling each other just because of our schedules, I started taking on more at work, and just got really busy and she was in school getting her masters. Then I would text her and hear nothing.

I figured out last night that she changed her cell phone number, because I texted her to say Happy Birthday and received a message back saying the message couldn't be delivered.

I know etiquette says that if someone invites you to their wedding, you should invite them to yours... what is the etiquette on being in the wedding. She was one of my bridesmaids... shouldn't I have at least known she was getting married.

Those are my first thoughts... Then I go through the "stop being selfish - you know how expensive weddings are, you hadn't talked to her for a year and it was 5 years ago that she was in your wedding... a lot changes."
I also pretty much reminded myself that she was in my wedding, because I had promised her she would be (even before we were engaged!) I realize now that if I were to do it all over, Amber would have been in my wedding. She always should have been... I didn't keep my promise to Dawn (another friend who I had promised would be in my wedding years before it happened) so why did I feel the need to keep it with Julie. I guess, I thought it was different. Amber and I had a lot of ups and downs in college and a little after, but I should have known that our friendship was built on the love of God so it would have lasted. I hate having that regret; about the wedding. I think Amber knows, though, now, that I would have done things differently.

Anyways, I can't dwell on what I can't help. And really, I don't know why I got so bent out of shape. I guess it goes with my need to know things!! I hate being the last to find something out!! But really, who cares that I didn't know... what matters is that she's happy, married, and had a great day for her wedding day!! I'm so happy for her.

This also made me realize that I need to make a better effort with my friends. I need to let those that matter really feel like they matter. Visit with them, email them, call them (although I just hate talking on the phone, so that will be hard!)

Pumpkins in PA

Despite Ryan's back being out and Kate's nauseousness from the pregnancy, we were determined to spend the weekend in PA with Kate and Brett! We left Saturday morning (we attempted to leave at 8am, but somehow packing the car took much longer than expected!)
We left at 9 and got there at 3pm! The ride wasn't bad at all actually.
Kate is by far the best cook I've ever met (ok, besides my mom!) Kate cooks things I would never attempt. Saturday night, her nauseousness was gone, so she was excited to cook (at least she told us that!) And she made stuffed tomatoes for an appetizer and then made pasta with cauliflower as the main dish! Now, I would never have known that I actually DO like cauliflower, but that meal was unbelievable!! And, Maddie had THREE helpings!!! She loved it!!!

I learn so much about cooking when I'm at Kate's. I already made the stuffed tomatoes last night and they were sooo good!

Sunday night she made a stew and butternut squash soup. oh soo good!! The soup seriously tasted like "fall in a cup!"

I bought cauliflower and butternut squash when I went grocery shopping this week and seriously can not wait to cook both meals!!

But more about our time together. Ok, we have a few "couple friends" and Tricia and Mike are our closest... we can be with them and there is no awkward silence, we can do embarrassing things in the same room and just laugh with each other. I think that is because we've known each other for almost 15 years and well, we've traveled together and spent tons of time together... But, we have the same relationship with Kate and Brett, I found, this weekend!

Saturday night we were all just hanging out watching sports or whatever was on, and there was no awkwardness... we weren't searching for stuff to talk about or anything like that. They are so warm, as a couple. I just love them. We have such fun conversations too. And Ryan and Brett are so similar its scary!!

Sunday night Kate had to work, but it was similar; watching football just shooting the breeze. We talked with Brett about the baby and how he felt about it; reassuring him that God would provide all they needed and not to worry too much about being able to afford it. It was so great!

On Sunday we went to this farm and picked out a pumpkin, went on a hayride, bought some apples and freshly made donuts and Maddie loved EVERY minute of it!

I hope they do know how much we appreciated them spending their weekend with us!! It was so great to be away and not have any distractions (no cell service = no blackberry, no work, no facebook, no nothing! and believe it or not, i loved it!)


Here are the pictures....

Back to the River

that's right... This weekend, we're headed back to the Delaware River! Our good friends (I was their RD and they were RAs at RIC - their families were the only two good things I took from working at RIC, really!) live right on the river in Pennsylvania. Its a six hour drive from here, so we're hoping Maddie is as great this time as she was last time. We have the DVD player and a few DVDs for her to watch all set and we'll pack a bunch of books for the trip.

I'm so excited to see Kate and Brett (and hopefully Kate's sister Melissa and Eric - although that hasn't been confirmed!) They just are the most wonderful people, always so positive, such strong Christians, but not "holy rollers" about it! They have a way of showing God's love to you, just by their presence! I just love them! We have so much fun together and I can't wait to be around their positivity!! The girls (Kate and Melissa) have such an appreciation and love for life that it makes you want to see everything they see, experience the experiences they have, and know the fun they know! Kate is a great photographer, she captures moments that you don't even realize are wonderful moments until you see the picture! And she's always taking pictures!! I love it! (Especially because I forget to take the pictures all the time!)
And, the best news of all is that they just found out that they're pregnant!! SO exciting. The amazing life that little baby is about to enter into is simply awesome!! That child will have such loving and incredible parents, and then the grandparents and aunts/uncles will complete the perfect Christian life for this little being! I love knowing that they will get to experience the whole pregnancy/delivery/birth/growth of a child. Its so exciting and was one of the greatest experiences I've ever had with Ryan and just knowing that they get to experience that together too, is so great!

So, there should be many pictures to follow in the next posting.

Speaking of babies... I'm sure I have posted that my best friend Amber is pregnant... well, did I also mention that most of my closest friends along this journey of life have either just had their baby or are pregnant too? It's true. Amber has been my best friend from age 7 until now. In between there, I've had best friends along the way as well... from 1st grade to 8th grade, Tatum was my bestie. She's now pregnant. From 9th grade until college, Stephanie was my bestie. She's pregnant too. From college and still, Tricia has been my bestie, she just had Grayson on September 14th. Its no wonder I keep dreaming that I am pregnant!!

I'm so excited though, because I haven't seen Amber in at least three years and she's coming home in two weeks for a baby shower! She doesn't even know Maddie yet, and that is so weird to me. She's seen all the pictures, Maddie has seen pictures of her, but I'm bringing her to the shower so she can finally meet her!! So exciting. Its a busy yet fun month, October!!

Better than Expected!

It was so much fun... but not long enough.

My play-date with Tatum and Matthew. Maddie was GREAT!!! She loved it... just loved the museum and she was polite and didn't throw ANY tantrums!!

I was pretty nervous driving there. Wondering if too much time had passed and that we would have nothing to talk about once we saw each other. She was worried about the same thing. But that was not the case at all.

At one point, she said, "where do we even begin... so how was 9th grade?!?!" which is just so funny, we literally had from 9th grade on to catch up on. This was my BEST FRIEND for 8 years. The one that I spent every weekend with, we had sleepovers at least once every weekend and spent three weeks with each others family in the summer. Any vacation we went on, we went together. And then the last day of 8th grade that all changed.

Come to find out, our lives are pretty parallel right now. Her husband is a huge Boston sports fan. Matthew is so cute and so well behaved.

There was no awkward silence and we even planned a date for us to meet each others husbands...

I think it hit me on the way home that I had just actually had lunch with her. I mean, for years I wondered what she was doing, if she loved college, what she did for work, if she drank or not, and if she wondered the same stuff about me...

My only regret was that I did not take pictures. I stated at one point that I can't be a cautious mom and take pictures at the same time.. I just can't. Anytime I try, Maddie falls and smashes her face on something in the process!! So I didn't even bother! We'll take some next time!!

Reunited

So, after not seeing each other for fifteen years, my old best friend (from K-8th grade) and I are seeing each other tomorrow for a play date with our kids! We reconnected via Facebook a few months ago (and a few years ago through email, but lost touch again after we both got married).

Tatum and I were inseparable for 8 years. Then she went to the private high school in our town while I went to the public. We had every intention of keeping in touch, we hung out for two years while going to different schools, but only once every few months... Then after Sophomore year in high school I think it just got too busy and her parents moved across town... So, I think age 15 was the last time we saw each other.

There are funny things that we still have in common though. We both chopped our hair after having kids. We both had our first baby around the same time (just three months apart). Our baby's although one is a girl and one is a boy are both nicknamed Maddie (her's is Matty)... and they both call our dads "bumpa"...
I'm sure there is more, but we'll find out after tomorrow.

We originally were going to meet up at an outdoor craft/art fair tomorrow, but now due to the rain, we're going to go to the Providence Children's Museum and then lunch.

I'd be lying if I said I was nervous. I certainly am. I'm worried Maddie will break down and be miserable... I'm nervous we wont have anything to talk about... I'm nervous she's in a much better place in life than I am and that will show (she has the house and is expecting baby #2...)

But I'm also excited. I'm excited to try to catch up on the past 15 years, to hear about her family, her husband, her parents that I once was so close to.

I'll be sure to write about it on Monday...