Our amazing weekend in NY!

Every time I go to post about our incredible weekend, I'm not at home (and that is where the pictures are) so I've not posted.
Well, I'm still not home, but I'm going to post now and update with pictures this weekend!

We had an incredible weekend in Long Island (or New Island, as Maddie calls it).

We left here around 4pm and due to a few things (one being Cape traffic, the other being rush hour, and the other being Yom Kippur) it took us over an hour to get through the city of Providence.  Once in CT, I couldn't wait for my guilty pleasure (any time we take along car ride, I allow fast food - McDonalds to be exact!)  I was practically drooling when we finally pulled up and although it has been probably six years since I've had one, I got a Big Mac.  Oh my goodness, I forgot how delicious those are!!!

Maddie was awesome in the car.. all 5.5 hours of it!  She watched Tangled on the dvd player and then a Strawberry Shortcake movie but then was done with the dvds.  A few times she asked when we were going to get to Melissa and Eric's, but other than that, she was completely content the entire way!

We pulled in at about 9:30pm (which was almost 2 hours after Maddie's bedtime, and she didn't nap at all in the car) and after they showed us around their gorgeous house, we all sat and chatted for a little while.  Their house is absolutely beautiful!! Granite counter-tops, brand new hardwood floors, two and a half bathrooms, fireplace, the master bathroom has his and hers sinks and is humongous!!  I instantly fell in love with the house.  And, if I didn't love Melissa and Eric so much, I would have been insanely jealous!!

Kate and Brett were at Melissa's parents' house (which is only .7 miles away *how awesome is that*) so they came over right after we got there.  I was just in my glory, so happy to be with all of them and chatting it up!!
I think it was almost 10:45pm when we finally put Madison to bed (which - she was not ok sleeping upstairs while we slept downstairs, so she slept in the bed with me and Ryan slept on an airbed - you know you're a family when this is the sleeping arrangement and everyone is actually pretty happy about it!  Ryan had a bed to himself, and I didn't mind sleeping with Maddie at all - we never let her into our bed, so it was kind of sweet!)


The next morning, our plans were to go to a winery and spend the day.  I had no idea that this would be phenomenal... but it was.  I pictured a place where everyone just tastes wine and buys a bottle and leaves.  No no no, this was a wide open area with picnic tables, farm animals, flowers, kite flying areas, and you bring your own food.  Melissa bought so much food and her parents brought lots of food too... there were exquisite cheeses (some I've never even heard of) and pasta salad, cold cuts, chips, hummus and crackers... we ate like kings!!  Those drinking wine went it and bought a few bottles and came out and enjoyed wine while we all chatted away.  Reilly and Madison were pretty content (they were able to run around, look at the animals, play with hoola-hoops, soccerballs, and people watch!)  I'm told the wine was fabulous!  As far as the company and food - they certainly were!

Maddie will tell you that there were cute little piglets that had just been born - and she's right.  These pigs were so small and looked as if they couldn't even fully open their eyes yet.  So cute!!

As much as we tried, the girls would not nap.  Instead, they had so much fun and both slept on the way home.

On the way home - we stopped at a little farm stand to get a pumpkin... Maddie would have liked to stay there longer - there was a lot for kids to do.

After the glorious day in the sun at the winery, we came home and the men fell asleep!  Then we went to Kate and Melissa's parents' house for a delicious italian dinner.  The girls were so cute playing together and dancing all around the living room!  After dinner we went to Yogurt Crazy.  If you've never been, you should!! This place is amazing.  It's a self serve yogurt place with a bunch of different soft serve yogurt flavors and toppings.  SOOO good!  After yogurt we went back to Melissa and Eric's and watched their wedding video from this summer.  It was so fun to see the whole thing again from a different view.

Sunday was nice too, the ladies went shopping at an outlet mall while the men did some grocery shopping to prepare for football!  Although we are diehard Pats fans, they are all diehard Giants fans!  We got home just after the Giants had started so we were able to catch both games.   Sunday night was a fantastic dinner of steak and veggies. So good!

Monday we enjoyed bagels from the bagel chalet and then packed up and headed home (not without a stop for McDonalds for a late lunch, of course!!)

Maddie kept saying "Mumma, I'm so happy.  I love Melissa and Eric and Kate, Brett and Reilly" and she does!!  Each morning, Melissa told her that when she woke up she could come upstairs and let us sleep.  Well, each morning, she was so excited to go spend time with Melissa upstairs!!  And I was so excited to sleep - I can't remember the last time I slept past 8am - never mind 2 days in a row!!

Overall, the weekend could not have been ANY better!  And, I will tell you... before we left, I was very stressed about money.  I didn't tell anyone that I was really nervous about it - I just decided, this is a weekend trip that doesn't come along often, so we'll charge what we have to and figure it out later.  (we just put the roof on our house - so that was all of our savings that we normally would have been using).
Well, when I described Melissa, Kate and their parents in this post, I didn't stress just how generous they are.  Not knowing any of my stress over money - just being themselves - they wouldn't let us pay for ANYTHING!  Not even the yogurt or coffees!! I felt so terrible at the time because we certainly didn't plan on them paying for all of that!!   But it was almost as if they read my mind and prevented so much stress.

We will never forget how wonderful they were and are!!

And, I'll post pictures soon!!

friend crush...

I had never heard this term until a few years ago, but I think it's funny.

"I have a friend crush on that person"... basically just means I would love to be their friend...

Well, let me tell you about my first friend crush!  and, yes, this might seem creepy to write a whole post about someone (or a few people) but they know how much I love them, so they'll get it!!
When I was an RD at RIC, I had a resident (she was the sister of an RA's girlfriend - follow that!).  Well, that's an important fact because that's essentially how we met.  Anyways, that's how this person came into my life - she was an RA's girlfriend's sister...

An RA (one of my favorites) came to me and said, "Amanda, I have a favor to ask - my girlfriend's sister is going to be a freshman here and she's living in your building.  Her parents are driving her here from Long Island and they're staying at a hotel tomorrow night and moving her in the next morning.  They're a little nervous leaving all of her things in the car in the middle of Providence overnight.  Is there ANY way that you would let them move her things in early just so they don't get stolen".  This was totally not allowed by the higher-ups (God forbid we help our incoming students and let their first impression be a good one).

So of course, because he was one of my favorites, I said, "sure.  Just let me know when and I'll have her door unlocked and get things ready for them".

Well, the next day I found a $20 under my apartment door and a thank you from the students' parents!  I told them I couldn't accept that but they wouldn't take no for an answer, so I bought my staff pizza!! (I felt bad keeping the money).

Once I met this student, my "friend crush" immediately began.
She's absolutely beautiful.  I don't just mean, "wow, she's pretty"  I mean, "WOAH! She's incredible!"  Not only is she beautiful, she's one of the nicest people I have ever met. People say that phrase all the time, "The nicest person"... I mean it.
You would think that someone who is so beautiful would naturally look around them and judge others for their imperfections.  But no, not Melissa.  Instead, Melissa finds perfections in everything she sees around her.  She gets the most joy out of the most simple things.  And she appreciates ANYTHING people do and say.  She can literally find the good in every situation, every person, every day.  And her positivity and optimism is contagious!

Ok, so back to how my crush became actual...after I met her, she applied to be an RA.  Then I snagged her and got her on my staff.
The summer before she started I found out (I can't remember how, maybe mypace) that her best friend had died suddenly of an infection of some sort.  I can't tell you how sad that made me.  Knowing a sophomore in college was just gone.  And thinking of her best friend who had no explanation and had to move on with life without her best friend.  So, I did some research, found her address and wrote her a little note, just telling her that I couldn't understand the pain she might be feeling, but that I would do my best to help her grieve and manage once she got to campus... It was the least I could do but I wanted to offer something...

That experience, losing a best friend, could have crushed someone at her age.  But not Melissa.  Instead, it gave her this attitude to never take life for granted.  To always show the people around you just how much they mean to you and to seize the day.  Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying" always makes me think of Melissa, because she really does enjoy each day and tries so hard not to take anything in life for granted.

I loved working with her and instantly felt a connection to her.  (ok, not in a creepy way - but as an RD you're not supposed to be friendly or "too close" with your RAs.)  Melissa was different.  She respected the Supervisor/Friend line that was in place and we grew close as friends and supervisor/supervisee.
She appreciated everything I did as her supervisor.  Once she was sick, and I think I checked in on her and got her cough drops or something and you would have thought I gave her $100!! She was so thankful.
This recognition and appreciation, of course, made me want to do more for her.  So, on her birthday I knew she wasn't going to be able to see her family, so I baked her a cake - well, I think she might have cried over that (and if you've tasted my cooking, you know that was unnecessary!!) 

I learned a lot about Melissa and her family - I learned that their family tie was probably the closest I've ever seen in my life before.  Being four hours away from home was really tough on her parents as well as it was for her.  I remember knowing that she was having a tough time being so far from her family and just wanting to offer some sort of comfort.  I had never gone that far from my family before, but could imagine how tough that would be.

Then I met her sister who was also beautiful and phenomenal as a person inside and out.  This family can't be real.  I mean, they can.. they are, but seriously... Their positive attitudes about life, love, beauty and enjoying each little thing that is given to them is such an inspiration.

I supervised her sister the next year and grew exceptionally close to her as well.  I mean, they watched my wedding video with me and cried with me...these were not typical students who worked for me....

I knew that our Christian faith had a lot to do with our connection, and even moreso now, I think that God put them in my life for reasons I may never fully understand.  I do know that being in grad school and working full time, I was very stressed - but having them on my staff (both years) helped me immensely.  

I can't forget to mention Brett, (the favorite RA I mentioned before, Kate's boyfriend who started this whole scene)... If there were another person like Ryan in this world, Brett is him.  The two of them are such great guys and I knew right away that he was a stand up man!
And Eric too, he's a prime reason to not judge people upfront. I completely thought that Eric was a jock (he is a basketball player and pretty quiet in large groups) but once I got to know him - I completely had him pegged wrong.  He's such a nice guy, he's got a great sense of humor - and we sat with his friends at their wedding this summer and they're hysterical!! (you can tell a lot about someone by the friends they keep!)

I feel like I've been through a lot with them.  ... I remember when Melissa started dating her husband... I was very skeptical.  I had watched another boy tear her heart apart and wasn't going to stand by and let that happen again (like I said, not my typical students)... but this one was different.  I eventually approved of him (once I stopped believing he was a jock!!)
I shared in their joy when Kate and Brett got engaged... I watched their engagement video and cried because I knew the joy that was ahead of them (they too met and started dating in their early teens).

When I left RIC, I was sad for two reasons.  I wouldn't be working with my best friend Tricia anymore, and I knew I'd never have another RA like either Kate, Brett or Melissa.  Our last night in Providence, I went out for dinner with them and I knew then that this would be a lasting friendship... It wasn't a "friend crush" anymore.  I was actually friends with her!! And friends with the family!! (This sounds so geeky, but whatever - that's what blogs are for right, to air your geeky laundry!!)

We've visited Kate and Brett a few times in PA since I left RIC and they came with their baby in June and stayed with us.  We have such a fantastic friendship and I cherish it so much.  In July Ryan and I went to Melissa and Eric's wedding (It was so wonderful) and spent time the next day with the whole family.  They all have welcomed us into their lives as if we've known each other our whole lives. 

Well, I am elated to say that Ryan, Maddie and I are vacationing to Long Island this weekend to visit with Melissa and Eric (and Kate, Brett, Reilly and baby to be)... and seriously, I don't think I've been this excited for something in a really long time.

I love being around them.  I love the conversations we have, and I love that there is no awkward silence no matter how much time has been between our visits.  I just love them.  I love their family, I can't wait for Maddie to meet their parents and for them to meet her.

I will leave you with some pictures so you can see what I mean!!

See what I mean?  This is Melissa with her niece, Reilly!

Brett and Madison (they came to visit when she was about 5 months old)

Brett, Kate, Melissa and Eric - see, don't you just want to be their friends?!?

This was two years ago in March (forgive the haircut!)

Seriously, are they not the most beautiful women?

Melissa and Eric met us in Boston in the summer of 08 - Maddie was so chunky!!

Pride

If you've read my last two blog posts, you know that dance class is a speed bump in the Surgens' journey right now.
 Yesterday morning, Maddie was starting to cry in bed and said, "Mumma, I don't like ballet"... This is her new thing.  When something makes her uncomfortable or nervous, she "doesn't like it"... So I said, "Hunny, you were so happy last week, you do like it."  To which she countered, "But I need you in the room.  I get so sad if you're not and I can't stop crying"...  So, I knew this week would not be the week that I was able to sit out in the waiting room with parents.  I knew it would be a battle.

And it wasn't... but I think we're getting somewhere...

It's a funny thing... I don't think I have the feeling of pride very often - it's just not something I'm used to.  But lately, as a mom, I've been experiencing emotional moments and they are pretty cool - pride-ful moments.

Today, i brought Maddie back to dance class.  We've compromised since her first class - the second class, I sat in the studio by the door the whole time - and she was fine.  No tears.
Today, (after our conversation about it yesterday) I told her I'd sit outside the door where she could just barely see me.  No tears.

While sitting outside the door, I could peek in and see that she was doing well and not crying - and she (all too often) could peek out at me and see that I was still there and not leaving her.

The first 20 minutes are spent in their tap shoes playing games that get them to shuffle, kick, and tap.  She listens so well to the teacher and really tries to make sure she's doing everything correctly (which is a lot more than I can say for other kids in the class!)

Then after 20 minutes or so, they switch to ballet shoes and play games getting them to point their toes, sit up straight, flex their feet and jump.  She has the children run around a lot and at one point I looked in and saw one little girl (Ava) holding Maddie's hand!!! They were running all over the studio (with the teacher) holding hands and laughing like they didn't have a care in the world!!! 
I was thrilled!!  THRILLED!! and PROUD!! Proud that my little girl was the girl that Ava chose to hold hands with.

I know that sounds silly, but as someone who was tortured as a child by other children (teased, bullied, made fun of for my looks mercilessly) , my biggest prayer and hope for Madison is that she is not a victim of childhood cruelty like I was and that other children accept and like her.  So, this small act of acceptance and inclusion was so meaningful to me.

After prancing around holding hands, they did another activity where they pretended they were at a river with an alligator in it - they had to jump from rock to rock and then over the river (practicing jumping)... Ava went first, and then sat on the mat they were told to do.  Maddie went after Ava, and as she finished, Ava patted the spot next to her and said, "Maddie, sit next to me" and when Maddie did, Ava reached for her hand and held it again.  I'm tearing up all over again retelling this... I was just so excited!!!
They skipped around again holding hands and my cute little innocent Maddie said, "do you want to be my friend"... to which Ava laughed and nodded!!

Oh the cuteness - and the relief and pride that I felt was so intense, I couldn't hold back the tears.  And I am not emotional like that - I'm usually not... But when it comes to my girl, I just want the best for her and I want her to have a pain free life (trust me, I know that's not possible - but avoiding the unnecessary pain like torture from other kids is what I really want for her!)

So, to say the least, today's dance class was a hit!!  I'm aiming to spend half of the time in the doorway and the other half in the waiting room at the next class.  (A little nervous because we're missing next week to spend the weekend with friends in NY - so I don't want the 'bond' between Ava and Maddie to be lost over the two weeks!!  I'm sure it wont, though, kids are funny like that!)

The funniest part is that when we got home, in the car as I was unbuckling her, Maddie said, "Mumma, I didn't cry today and I made a friend - that mean's I'm getting brave, doesn't it?"  Yes Maddie, it does!!

So, today was one of my proudest, what is your proudest moment?