So a few of my posts have alluded to how great my mom is...
like the one about how we bonded over cooking Thanksgiving Dinner and my last one with my little note to my mom about how strong she is!
Well... my mom is beyond strong and a great cook. But she scared the bageezuz out of me on Easter!!
We had Easter Dinner after an incredible day. We went to their church on the cape and then went back to their house. My mom did an awesome Easter Egg hunt for the kids. She split it up so that the boys had some eggs filled with treats for them and that were hidden in trickier places and the little ones had treats that were fit for them and hidden in easier locations. We took some really cute pictures in the back yard and when i find the cord to connect my camera, I'll post them!
After the Egg Hunt, we sat out on the back deck and enjoyed some drinks in the sun. When I say "we" I should say that I kept thinking Mom would come out too but she was in the kitchen for the entire hour and a half or more that we enjoyed the sun. I really regret that I didn't go in and help her. REALLY regret that!! I honestly kept thinking she'd come out I didn't even think to ask what she needed help with inside - how completely selfish of me. Anyways, moving on from my selfish daughter rant...
We ate dinner and then Mom, Aunt Wendy and I were chatting in the kitchen around the center island. Maddie kept coming in and out of the kitchen and going back to watch the game with Ryan, my Dad and Uncle Art. About an hour or so into us chatting, Mom was sitting next to me on the stool and for some odd reason, I noticed her hand was reaching out but in an odd way. I honestly can't tell you why it caught my attention, but it did. So I reached for it and held her hand. I asked her "mom, what are you doing?" to which she replied, "I don't know". Then I said, "Mom, are you ok?" and Aunt Wendy said, "Yea, Tam, you don't look that great, you're pale."
I recognized the look of daze across her face - as I have had that feeling many times and I just knew, so I asked her, "Mom, are you going to pass out"... Thinking she's snap out of it and say, "no, of course not, I'm fine"... but instead, she said, "yeah, I think I might"... at that point, I asked Aunt Wendy to go behind her and hold her up - thank God she did because right then, I watched my mom's eyes flutter and then roll into the back of her head and all of the natural flushed color drain right out of my mom's face.
"DAD!!! MOM JUST PASSED OUT!!!"
"DON! TAM'S OUT OF IT, CALL 911!!!
I grabbed the phone, which was in arms reach, and dialed 911. As I started to reply to "What's your emergency?" with "My mom just passed out" mom's eyes darted open and she was saying, "What, no I'm fine" so as the operator transferred me to the local paramedics, I told the new operator, "Well, I don't know if I have an emergency now, my mom passed out but she's fine now..." Luckily, the operator wasn't happy with that so she stated that the EMTs would come to just check her out.
While waiting for them to show, mom said she should probably lay down. So Aunt Wendy walked her into the bedroom.
Dad, Ryan and Uncle Art said that we sounded so calm and cool about it, they thought we were joking... and teasing my mom about something... but no, we were very serious!
Ryan was great and took Maddie outside to distract her - she actually had no idea what happened and didn't even see the paramedics.
When they arrived and ran some tests, they couldn't get her blood pressure to stabalize so they recommended she go to the ER to be checked out.
I don't know where my courage came from - because if you know me you know that I do not DO hospitals or medical emergencies - but I didn't want my mom to be alone, so I told her I was going in the ambulance with her.
I'll be honest here, even though I'd deny it to anyone's face - but I did some serious in-through-the-nose-out-through-the-mouth breathing in the ambulance to avoid passing out... I almost went twice, but I talked myself out of it!!
I can't begin to explain the fear that came over me when we got to the hospital. I think I realized at that moment that my ROCK, my "always there to answer my questions, tell me how to cook something, help me out in a sticky situation, save my ass and watch Maddie when I need her to, talk me down from being frustrated or annoyed at my sister, father, husband, mother-in-law, everything I completely want to be to Maddie" was laying in that bed and we didn't know what was going on...
I lost it later that night (after Maddie went to bed)... I can't have anything be wrong with my mom... I need her. I NEED her... I need her examples, I need her calmness, I need her advice, I need her on the end of the phone, I need her gentle voice, I need her and everyone in my family needs her...
Well, to make a long story very short, I am delighted to say that as of right now, mom is going to be fine. She came home from the hospital with a heart monitor for 24 hours - basically because they couldn't figure out what really was the cause of her passing out.
She has a few tests coming up in the future to rule out heart stuff... and I'm praying that's exactly what those tests do because if you didn't catch my subtle hint earlier, I need my mom in my life.
This Mother's Day is going to be a little more emotional for me... I vow to never take my mom for granted - and I PROMISE that next time, I'LL BE IN THE KITCHEN HELPING HER PREP FOR THE MEAL AND NOT ON THE DECK GETTING SUNBURNED!!! I love my mom and I am who I am because of her patience, strength and amazing love.
**after I wrote this, I got an email about blogging about Mom... so, in honor of Mother's Day, it's only apropos that I share with you how great Shutterfly is. They'll occassionally do incentives and give you free fun things... I have used their Cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/mothers-day-cards-stationery.
Are you a blogger? You can receive their great incentives too: Click here to sign up for a chance at 50 free cards from Shutterfly.”
