Planning...

I'm a planner.  I like to know "What the plan is"... Don't get me wrong, I can go with the flow on most occasions, but I am definitely a planner.  Which, I guess is why so many people are surprised that we didn't find out the gender of either of our babies.
Ryan definitely had a lot to do with that - but I do love the surprise!

This need to plan and know what the plan is - well, you see, that's making me a little neurotic about when this bundle of love decides to make their debut.
We have asked two of our close friends (who live about 1 mile away) to be our primary contact if I go into labor at night.  They will come and stay with Madison until my parents get there.  My parents live an hour away.  They will come and stay with Madison until we get out of the hospital.

Even with this plan, there are so many if's that are driving me nuts!!  My parents have a trip to Florida planned currently for the end of April into the second or so week of May.  I'm so afraid I'll go into labor in mid May.  We don't really have a back-up plan.  There are some unresolved issues with Ryan's parents that make them a non-option.
Then there's the possibility that I go into labor at work (Lord, please no!)  Madison is at preschool while I'm at work so I'd have to call the preschool and arrange a different pick-up option (either my mom or a friend at work).  With that, I'd need to leave a car seat at the preschool so that someone can drive her home.  I'd need to leave my house keys for my parents - somewhere.

Even the small details are bugging me... I need to put clean sheets on the bed so my parents have a clean bed to sleep in.  I want to make sure the house is nice and clean to come home to.  (which isn't a huge issue, I'm a little neurotic about cleaning the house on a weekly basis, but just having things put in their place... it would bug me if I knew it wasn't done!)

And don't even get me started on work. (too late, I've started!) Part of my work responsibilities include coordinating Summer Conferences.  This starts in late January - so I've been planning for the summer knowing I won't be here.  Trying to make sure there will be no loose ends to tie up and no missed pieces is keeping me awake at night - I know, its nuts, but its true.

Then there's the aspect of what to do when I have to go back to work.  We were blessed with Ryan's mom watching Madison when I went back to work after having her.  I worked right down the hall from my apartment - so I was able to come home to breast feed and didn't have to pump much at all.  I really want to breast feed for 9 months or so like I did with her, but this time, we'll have to find a daycare (that's on my list of things stressing me out) and I'll need to pump at work.  I work with many women, and they're all pretty supportive, but its not something that I think I'll enjoy!

The daycare thing... how do people leave their 10 or 12 week old with a stranger?  How am I going to do that?  And, when do I start interviewing people or looking for the perfect daycare? 

Ok, now that its all in writing, I guess you could say that reality has hit me and I'm starting to panic a little about having this munchkin. 

I do know that it will all work out - it always does.  The Lord never leads me astray, but I just tend to stress out when trying to follow his plan...

Breathe... deep cleansing breaths... I can do this... it will all work out!