friend crush...

I had never heard this term until a few years ago, but I think it's funny.

"I have a friend crush on that person"... basically just means I would love to be their friend...

Well, let me tell you about my first friend crush!  and, yes, this might seem creepy to write a whole post about someone (or a few people) but they know how much I love them, so they'll get it!!
When I was an RD at RIC, I had a resident (she was the sister of an RA's girlfriend - follow that!).  Well, that's an important fact because that's essentially how we met.  Anyways, that's how this person came into my life - she was an RA's girlfriend's sister...

An RA (one of my favorites) came to me and said, "Amanda, I have a favor to ask - my girlfriend's sister is going to be a freshman here and she's living in your building.  Her parents are driving her here from Long Island and they're staying at a hotel tomorrow night and moving her in the next morning.  They're a little nervous leaving all of her things in the car in the middle of Providence overnight.  Is there ANY way that you would let them move her things in early just so they don't get stolen".  This was totally not allowed by the higher-ups (God forbid we help our incoming students and let their first impression be a good one).

So of course, because he was one of my favorites, I said, "sure.  Just let me know when and I'll have her door unlocked and get things ready for them".

Well, the next day I found a $20 under my apartment door and a thank you from the students' parents!  I told them I couldn't accept that but they wouldn't take no for an answer, so I bought my staff pizza!! (I felt bad keeping the money).

Once I met this student, my "friend crush" immediately began.
She's absolutely beautiful.  I don't just mean, "wow, she's pretty"  I mean, "WOAH! She's incredible!"  Not only is she beautiful, she's one of the nicest people I have ever met. People say that phrase all the time, "The nicest person"... I mean it.
You would think that someone who is so beautiful would naturally look around them and judge others for their imperfections.  But no, not Melissa.  Instead, Melissa finds perfections in everything she sees around her.  She gets the most joy out of the most simple things.  And she appreciates ANYTHING people do and say.  She can literally find the good in every situation, every person, every day.  And her positivity and optimism is contagious!

Ok, so back to how my crush became actual...after I met her, she applied to be an RA.  Then I snagged her and got her on my staff.
The summer before she started I found out (I can't remember how, maybe mypace) that her best friend had died suddenly of an infection of some sort.  I can't tell you how sad that made me.  Knowing a sophomore in college was just gone.  And thinking of her best friend who had no explanation and had to move on with life without her best friend.  So, I did some research, found her address and wrote her a little note, just telling her that I couldn't understand the pain she might be feeling, but that I would do my best to help her grieve and manage once she got to campus... It was the least I could do but I wanted to offer something...

That experience, losing a best friend, could have crushed someone at her age.  But not Melissa.  Instead, it gave her this attitude to never take life for granted.  To always show the people around you just how much they mean to you and to seize the day.  Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying" always makes me think of Melissa, because she really does enjoy each day and tries so hard not to take anything in life for granted.

I loved working with her and instantly felt a connection to her.  (ok, not in a creepy way - but as an RD you're not supposed to be friendly or "too close" with your RAs.)  Melissa was different.  She respected the Supervisor/Friend line that was in place and we grew close as friends and supervisor/supervisee.
She appreciated everything I did as her supervisor.  Once she was sick, and I think I checked in on her and got her cough drops or something and you would have thought I gave her $100!! She was so thankful.
This recognition and appreciation, of course, made me want to do more for her.  So, on her birthday I knew she wasn't going to be able to see her family, so I baked her a cake - well, I think she might have cried over that (and if you've tasted my cooking, you know that was unnecessary!!) 

I learned a lot about Melissa and her family - I learned that their family tie was probably the closest I've ever seen in my life before.  Being four hours away from home was really tough on her parents as well as it was for her.  I remember knowing that she was having a tough time being so far from her family and just wanting to offer some sort of comfort.  I had never gone that far from my family before, but could imagine how tough that would be.

Then I met her sister who was also beautiful and phenomenal as a person inside and out.  This family can't be real.  I mean, they can.. they are, but seriously... Their positive attitudes about life, love, beauty and enjoying each little thing that is given to them is such an inspiration.

I supervised her sister the next year and grew exceptionally close to her as well.  I mean, they watched my wedding video with me and cried with me...these were not typical students who worked for me....

I knew that our Christian faith had a lot to do with our connection, and even moreso now, I think that God put them in my life for reasons I may never fully understand.  I do know that being in grad school and working full time, I was very stressed - but having them on my staff (both years) helped me immensely.  

I can't forget to mention Brett, (the favorite RA I mentioned before, Kate's boyfriend who started this whole scene)... If there were another person like Ryan in this world, Brett is him.  The two of them are such great guys and I knew right away that he was a stand up man!
And Eric too, he's a prime reason to not judge people upfront. I completely thought that Eric was a jock (he is a basketball player and pretty quiet in large groups) but once I got to know him - I completely had him pegged wrong.  He's such a nice guy, he's got a great sense of humor - and we sat with his friends at their wedding this summer and they're hysterical!! (you can tell a lot about someone by the friends they keep!)

I feel like I've been through a lot with them.  ... I remember when Melissa started dating her husband... I was very skeptical.  I had watched another boy tear her heart apart and wasn't going to stand by and let that happen again (like I said, not my typical students)... but this one was different.  I eventually approved of him (once I stopped believing he was a jock!!)
I shared in their joy when Kate and Brett got engaged... I watched their engagement video and cried because I knew the joy that was ahead of them (they too met and started dating in their early teens).

When I left RIC, I was sad for two reasons.  I wouldn't be working with my best friend Tricia anymore, and I knew I'd never have another RA like either Kate, Brett or Melissa.  Our last night in Providence, I went out for dinner with them and I knew then that this would be a lasting friendship... It wasn't a "friend crush" anymore.  I was actually friends with her!! And friends with the family!! (This sounds so geeky, but whatever - that's what blogs are for right, to air your geeky laundry!!)

We've visited Kate and Brett a few times in PA since I left RIC and they came with their baby in June and stayed with us.  We have such a fantastic friendship and I cherish it so much.  In July Ryan and I went to Melissa and Eric's wedding (It was so wonderful) and spent time the next day with the whole family.  They all have welcomed us into their lives as if we've known each other our whole lives. 

Well, I am elated to say that Ryan, Maddie and I are vacationing to Long Island this weekend to visit with Melissa and Eric (and Kate, Brett, Reilly and baby to be)... and seriously, I don't think I've been this excited for something in a really long time.

I love being around them.  I love the conversations we have, and I love that there is no awkward silence no matter how much time has been between our visits.  I just love them.  I love their family, I can't wait for Maddie to meet their parents and for them to meet her.

I will leave you with some pictures so you can see what I mean!!

See what I mean?  This is Melissa with her niece, Reilly!

Brett and Madison (they came to visit when she was about 5 months old)

Brett, Kate, Melissa and Eric - see, don't you just want to be their friends?!?

This was two years ago in March (forgive the haircut!)

Seriously, are they not the most beautiful women?

Melissa and Eric met us in Boston in the summer of 08 - Maddie was so chunky!!